Three P

Why we haven’t been posting much lately

2005-06-05T04:52:00.000-07:00

I just found this article that I missed when it ran on November 3rd, but I think its especially relevant now. Please take a few moments to read it before you continue reading.

www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/11/02/60II/main652953.shtml

There is absolutely no way for this to have been just a few isolated incidents. They stopped beating him when they realized he was an American solder, his entire life is now ruined, this is horrible for him and just think of how much worse things would have been for him had he really been a detainee, like the hundreds of detainees now who haven’t even been charged with anything...

Bill Clinton was just on NPR, listen here:
www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4676259
He had a lot of great things to say.

But paying attention to the world right now is just way to fucking depressing.

We created government to organize things that involve the entire community, like education, health-care, helping the poor, protecting the environment... But now, instead of properly dealing with these important things and more, our resources and tax dollars are being spend on this, in our name, for absolutely no reason.

IS THERE ANY GOOD NEWS ANYWHERE????

I just want to hang out with my friends and play video games and read comic books. Move into a cave. Or onto a new planet. And just not be aware of all this. I seriously can’t handle it. I’m sick of trying to change things and not getting anywhere. I’m sick of paying attention and keeping track. It is just so upsetting without doing any good; I’m completely powerless and frustrated.

Stupid Liberals!

2005-06-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

Looks like kids in Germany, faced with increasingly liberal parents are rebelling the only way they can. By becoming neo-Nazis.

Woot!

2005-05-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

The recent articles outlining the argument and plans for universal heath-care are really interesting.

1. It's good for American business

2. It works for everyone else

3. It would work here

4. Americans, even most Republicans, support it

This NEEDS to be a core plank of the Democratic party platform, and honestly I dont see why it isn't being championed by Democrats and Republicans alike (other than the campaign contributions from the more corrupt segments of the health care industry).

(These links are all from the last article, but Kevin Drum also has said a lot of good over the past few months (search for "health")

Mallard Fillmore

2005-05-14T15:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Bruce Tinsley,

I enjoyed your series of Mallard Fillmore comics dated April 25th to April 28th, 2005, proclaiming that the wage gap between men and woman is non existent and merely a myth being perpetuated by those silly liberals, but I have been unable to locate your source for this statistic and was hoping you could give me a better link.

The asterisk in the comic strips attributes the statistic to column by John Leo dated March 21, 2005 -- but I just read that column and can't find any relevant information.

I found Leo's column online here:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/johnleo/jl20050321.shtml

Has Leo deleted the part of his column that you were referring to, or is there a paragraph I should take another look at?

I would love to use this statistic while arguing with those silly liberals, I just want to know what that statistic specifically says and it's source before I start citing it around town so I can avoid looking like a total jackass.

Please let me know.

Sincerely,
--------

UK Elections/Sophia Sucks

2005-05-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

So, like, I hear there is voting going on in Great Britain!

So far Labour is ahead, 6 to nothing!

And when I say 6 to nothing, I mean that for the very second I wrote this, for surely more seats will be announced within a matter of moments. P.S. British politics = hella weird! How's that for an informed opinion?

I am on the edge of my seat. Not out of excitement, but because that is just how I like to sit.

Anywho, maybe something more substantial later, but I doubt it. After all, I am a bit provincial and retarded. Also, in case anyone forgot, I hate freedom.

Michael Moore Is Fat, This Bitch Is Getting There

2005-05-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

Well I'll be damned, in a case of hyperbolic importance the line between "guilty" and "not guilty" continues to blur.

Lets get the facts out on the table.

1. Because Sadaam Hussein gassed his own people does not make it right to torture prisoners of war. So spare me (and everyone else) that bullshit, it makes you sound like a lummox and nobody likes a lummox. Speaking of which,there was a Canadian study about children that said parents were more apt to pay attention to their non lummox children.

2. Gassing people is bad, very very bad.

3. Having photographs taken humiliating prisoners in pretty obscene ways is profoundly dumb.

4. None of this matters!

5. Lynndie England has a baby named Carter.

6. I am going to guess most of the braniacs who were featured so prominently in those MySpace worthy art pictures will probably be punished in some fashion.

7. But eh, it doesn't matter.

8. George W. Bush won the election.

9. This is not an issue to be argued about on the basis of party affiliation.

10. It's just fucked up, why can't you see that? Why doesn't it matter to you? Have you know souls? What is this, the time of Charlemange?

11. It's also time to realize (or admit, and admit loudly!) that not everyone in prison is guilty. Perhaps not even half, I don't know, I'm not their collective biographer. The point is, in my fragile liberal crafted mushy mind, if there is A CHANCE, a fleeting CHANCE that one person who was not guilty was somehow TORTURED then I'm feeling a little bit dirty.

12. Wait, all this bullshit happened like a year ago!

13. I am going to go obliterate hella girls now.

Jesus

2005-05-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hope is on the way

This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening.

Super Nationalistic Hindu Politics In India At The Turn Of The Century

2005-05-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

Though a little blog run by some guy named "Atrios" (I think that is how it is spelled) has already mentioned this, Chuck Noblet is getting his own show! If done properly it'll be fantastique and I'm already wetting my proverbial drawers, as well as my literal ones.

A Note On Excessive Comments

2005-05-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

God, stop commenting so much! I can't really handle reading the deluge of pseudo sophisticated amateur-amateur punditry sprinkled throughout the 3P comments section. There just comes a time when there is too much!

I think I'm going to go to a party this weekend for the sole purpose of finding a stuff-mate.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Capitol Building right now. I'd like that a lot. And I'll tell you why. Cause if I was a fly I would be totally oblivious to these silly problems and these serious problems and to the pursuit of girls and to the pitfalls of higher education and all that stuff. Basically, all I'd be interested in is fucking girl flies and perhaps annoying humans and being totally crushed out on shit.

Educate yourselves, you smarty pantses.

Me oh my!

2005-05-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

Are you fucking kidding me America?

Are you telling me THIS is more important than this and this and this and this and this?

Human interest stories are so interesting, even when I already saw Runaway Bride. Why are we so bound and determined to distract ourselves? Why do I ask these questions as if someone can answer? Why why why?

I hella hate America and freedom and am really bummed out my father and grandfather fought to protect this country cause I totally hate it and I want to move to France and eat Freedom Fries drenched in France sauce or whatever it is they eat over there.

Fuck this shit, as the scholars say.

What is the world coming to??

2005-05-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

First of all, fuck Sean Hannity, that guy is a major schill doucebag if there ever was one, one of the most disgusting right-wing cheerleaders on TV.

But he and Alan Colmes were right to chastise Blank Panter honcho Malik Shabazz and his defense of Louis Farrakhan for their revolting anti-semitic remarks. Ugh, god I fucking hate people sometimes. What kind of mad world is it where i will actually agree with Sean Hannity? Why do you do this to me Malik? Why forge such an unholy alliance? Why be such a dipshit? Why compare your holocause to the Holocaust? Why is everyone so fucking eager to prove that they suffer more? And why do they do it in the most divisive bullshit riddled way possible? To Malik, this is all I can say.

Democracy Is On The March

2005-05-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Rhetorical bombs are fun to throw, so let me just say with COMPLETE earnestness that I am glad that handing over Iraq to the Iraqis AND the Iraqi elections have brought forth nothing short of everlasting peace.

Funnier than Laura Bush!

2005-05-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

Though I do admit The First Lady is definitely my favorite member of the pedigreed Bush clan, I have a wonderful joke that is in no ways divisive that will most likely bring this country together once and for all.

What do you call two Neo-Conservatives making out in the back of a car?????

Find out!

Something Good George Bush did

2005-05-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

Christ, typing title thingy up there was surreal. And I do understand that talk is cheap and that actions speak louder than words, but eh, whatev. In any case, good job George, I hope Bill Frist understands (wait, FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS DINKY WHITE HOUSE ASPIRATIONS AND YES I AM YELLING). I also hope that the Evangelicals will realize Bush isn't Jesus and just stop voting altogether and stop trying to force Shari'a on us.

Animation Domination

2005-05-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

My verdict, there were a few good moments in an hours worth of the Simpsons, the Family Guy Episode was funny (except I'm not sure how all that Passion of the Christ stuff was topical), and American Dad is boring and weird and Family Guy lite. That is a first impression, I could be wrong, they could go wonderful places with it, but you know what, I'm a betting man and I am laying down the "American Dad Lasts One Season Tops" bet. You heard it here for probably the 80 millionth time.

There Are No Saints, No Patriots

2005-05-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Political songs can range from pretty fucking atrocious to hellof inspiring. In the interest of extra credit, I am sifting through my CD's in an attempt to create a cogent mix CD for one of my Professors. A political mix almost certainly means opposition, whether from the left or from the far left or from apathy. There is truly a dearth of decent Conservative leaning bands putting out worthwhile music. What the implications of that are, I don't particularly care.

So far, (and it has been like a minute and a half since I started mind you!) I've decided on "American Way" by Nas (legitamately once a master fucking word smith, Illmatic is such a great album, appropriately revered by hip hop geeks), "Baby, I'm An Anarchist!" by Against Me! (legitamtely one of the best frantic acoustic leaning bands ever with the exception of their last fairly hit or miss album), "Henry K" by the Ex (sorry post-punk fags, the Ex are consistently more entertaining in their droning way then the Fall), and "Jerusalem" by Mirah.

Punk Rock practically has a sub-genre of just political music. Anarcho-punks Propaghandi for instance can't contain themselves, their last album Todays Empires Tomorrows Ashes was a pretty amazing collection of songs (even the thrashier ones managed to hold my interst for once) and they have a pretty good track record of spot on rantings that are too radical for me ("Meat is still murder/Dairy is still rape") but head nod worthy and think thought worthy in any case. But for every Propaghandi there is an Anti-Flag, who God bless them, have their hearts in the right place, but are so obviously pulling their lyrics out of A People's History Of The United States and possibly something Noam Chomsky wrote on his napkin. Trust me, I've been there, the kids (at least 90%-and yes, this is hellof a scientific guess and I am right and I am right about everything except that Ratzinger wouldn't be Pope, but I actually did know that, I just didn't want to utter it and make it true but oh well!) at Anti-Flag shows DON'T GIVE A FUCK about their politics. Or they do in that really limited "Oppose everything in power" type way, which is hardly going to enact social change.

In this big mess of double time and three chords a whole host of bands exist that are more or less politically aware. Strike Anywhere are a band out of Virginia and more or less know their shit and aren't so dogmatic about their declarations of solidarity and their love of the living wage.

Good Riddance...Well, I usually don't like Good Riddance.

The Minutemen were very radical, very awesome, and very hard to pin down, musically or politically. They were around during the Reagan years, a political darkness that inspired punk bands like mushrooms after a rain (as George R.R. Martin ALWAYS says). Possible Minutemen songs for the mix are "The Politics of Time", "Joe McCarthy's Ghost", "Untitled Song For Latin America", "King Of The Hill" and probably hellf others that are escaping me. Speaking of the Minutemen, PLEASE PROTECT OUR BORDERS, THE BORDER PATROL NEEDS YOUR HELP AND THEY REALLY LIKE YOUR COMPANY (EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE NOT REALLY A BORDER PATROL BUT A MESTIZO ESCORT SERVICE)

How clever some people are, how gosh darn clever.

The (International) Noise Conspiracy probably have a place on this mix as well. Perhaps "Capitalism Stole My Virginity". To be fair, we were totally leading capitalism on and capitalism was calling us a "tease" so you know, we had to give in or else facism would make fun of us at the political ideology playground. Perhaps "New Nails" by Mission of Burma. "Family Happiness" is a sweet draft dodging tune by one of the best bands of all time, the Mountain Goats.

An easy way out would just be picking up one of the nine million "Rock Against Bush" type compilations and pass it off as my own. But if some dipshit in my class reveals me in front of my love (she sits a couple rows ahead of me and is always drawing flowers on her notes-what a sweetie pie) I'd definitely be in trouble, and the timetable for my eventual victory over her loins will be inumberably set back. Considering how I haven't even talked to her yet, that's pushing it pretttttty fucking far back.

I am in love with the sound of my keyboard.

Suggestions welcome.

A New Day, Same Bullshit!

2005-04-25T22:09:00.001-07:00

Listen, I could go on a lengthy diatrabe about who coined the term "nuclear option". Or I could once again delve into the ridiculous actions of Tom DeLay and Bill Frist and the Terry Schiavo affair. Or Mel Martinez and crucifying his staffer. Or how the UN deserves a representative from the hegemon who hasn't pretty much said the UN has no reason to exist. Or how he has a horrible looking growth on his upper lip. There is no need to go on about the 2006 elections, those are far away, and I hope to stuff several girls by then. No reason to speculate why Republicans are so fucking obsessed with Hilary Clinton. Or mention how handsome John Kerry looks compared to the Senate Foreign Relations gang (like a dignified lion I tell you!).

Furthermore, no reason to even bring up Social Security Reform, or any Reform for that matter, surely we all know that Republicans own the word "reform" and that all that they ever do is intended to fix something already broken. The idea that some things are already just fine is ludicrous. We need reform. Lots of reform. I love reform so much I'm not even going to finish this sentence properly, I'm just going to reform reform reform REFORM reform.

Fucking cocksuckers, all of them!

In light of all that, there is a fucking beautiful girl in one of my classes, and I think she deserves to be given a CD that looks a little something like this:

The Gun Club- Sex Beat
Naked Raygun- No Sex
The Dwarves- Fuck Em All
The Faint- Worked Up So Sexual
Kraut- Matinee
Dead Kennedys- Too Drunk To Fuck
Bad Brains- Pay To Cum
Iggy and the Stooges- Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell
E-Rotic- Doctor Dick
Stero Total- I Am Naked
Tom Waits- I Hope I Don't Fall In Love With You
The Mountain Goats- There Will Be No Divorce
The Lids- She's Been Around
Stars- Elevator Love Letter
Magnetic Fields- I'm Sorry I Love You
Hawksley Workman- Jealous Of Your Cigarette
Destiny's Child- Is She The Reason? (for my purposes, is HE the reason?)

Full of mixes messages. As I said on another one of these things, FUCK CLARITY.

That CD looks like the work of a flip flopper.

Go fucking die you two year olds!

Maybe that was a bit harsh. I admit, I'll choke on candor like that.

Going fucking die, you three year olds.

New RFID Passports Put Americans In Extreme Danger

2005-04-11T01:24:00.000-07:00

The State Department is rolling out new passports that make use of RFID Tags. This would put all Americans traveling abroad in extreme danger, as their passports would be homing beacons for thieves, rapists, kidnappers, and terrorists.

See my full article on Daily Kos

Ban Adultery

2005-03-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

I don't know why the gay-rights has been such a hot-button issue for me lately, but here we go again:

Between the hours of vomiting out of sheer disbelief, I was able to read through Dr. James Dobson's Eleven Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage.

This document does a nice job explaining specific arguments that the Religions Wrong uses to convince people to persecute gays. It is very worth reading just to understand where these people are coming from and the nature of the propaganda they are fed to make them so irrational.

As far as I can tell, the claim is that they aren’t opposed specifically to homosexuality. They are under the impression that gays are extra promiscuous by nature, and then go into details of why promiscuity is detrimental to our society.

Regardless of how bad promiscuity really is, they seem to be forgetting just what Marriage is, specifically a PROMISE to NOT be promiscuous. If gay people are going to exist, why not let them make a promise to avoid doing exactly what Dobson claims is their reason for being so horrible??

Wouldn’t Dobson’s agenda be better served by pushing for a constitutional amendment to ban adultery, rather than banning gay marriage (since all the problems Dobson describes are problems he sees with promiscuity, regardless of if it is between a man and a woman or two people of the same sex).

As a side note, I am amused by the endless references Dobson makes to "studies" and "known facts" without actually saying what these studies or facts are. I have a sneaky suspicion that they just don't exist.

Inter-racial > Gay ???

2005-03-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

I've spent all this time bitching about how people against gay marriage were bigots and comparing them to people who were opposed to interracial marriages..

I just read something disturbing on Atrios and did some extra digging and found out:

... when the Supreme Court struck down the bans against interracial marriage in 1968 through Virginia vs. Loving, SEVENTY-TWO PERCENT of Americans were against interracial marriage. As a matter of fact, approval of interracial marriage in the US didn't cross the positive threshold until -- sweet God -- 1991

AND

it wasn't until 1991 that a regular Gallup showed that a plurality of Americans approved of interracial marriage (48%). 4% approved in 1958. 36% approved in 1978.

WHAT THE FUCK???

I need to find some up-to-date statistics on this.. If half of the anti-gay-marriage crowd is also anti interracial-marriage, ... I cant even finish this sentence. My blood isn't even boiling anymore, I'm just throwing my hands up in frustration.

4/10/05 Update: I looked it up, in June of 2004, Gallup reported an approval rate of 76% -- meaning that ONE FOURTH of Americans STILL don't approve of interracial-marriage... But I wonder if they'd be ok with gay marriage if it was between members of the same race? Either way, fucking stupid.

This is too good... Homophobes are SO CUTE!!!

2005-03-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

J Abnorm Psychol. 1996 Aug;105(3):440-5.

Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal?

Adams HE, Wright LW Jr, Lohr BA.

Department of Psychology, University of Georgia, Athens 30602-3013, USA.

The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.

Source:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=PubMed
(Can't direct link, but its there)
And, Google has some articles that refrence this study. And here is more from PBS.

My shirt says "Homaphobia Is Gay", I didn't know it was literally true! I used to think that the best way to deal with homaphobes was to educate them... Then I thought the best way to deal with homaphobes was to just make them feel like unwelcome biggot jerks.. But I guess just kissing them or grabbing their junk is the way to go!

Extra Extra Read All About It!

2005-03-07T02:45:00.000-08:00

Hannity Helps 40 Year Old Virgins Find Love!

I know this isn't right, or PC, or anything... But this website totally made my day. I couldn't have made a funnier parody.

Let me say this about blowjobs

2005-03-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

I've been with four girls to date who have claimed to really enjoy giving blowjobs.

I don't buy it.

Sucking on a cock can't possibly be pleasant. Can you imagine a girl going home and putting a big dildo in her mouth and just going at it? That might be fun to imagine, but seriously, it doesn't happen. And for girls who swallow, if I were a girl I bet that would just make my skin crawl!

I'm sure there are girls who don't really mind sucking cock, but its probably more like me and back-rubs. I know I'm good at it and I'll get joy out of knowing that I'm giving someone a massage that they're really into, but I wouldn't take a half hour rubbing down a mannequin or something. The point isn't giving the massage, it's the person on the receiving end that I'm thinking about.

I think Uncle Ben said it best, with great blowjob comes great responsibility.

In this essay I hope to make you think about blowjobs in new ways, and make you a better person. I will address the blowjob's social implication, the negative consequences on girls who would prefer to not give them, proper etiquette for the sucker and suck'ee, and how to deal with a girl who means well but just sucks at sucking.

Let me also state that the word "girl" can be substituted with "dude" if that's your thing. I'll be using the word girl from here on out merely to describe the person with the testicles on their chin.

Social Implications; Blowjobs have replaced "first base" as the new "holding hands."

My friend Pavla thinks that modern girls give head too easily. And maybe she's right.

Its possible that my friends are just all total sluts, but it appears that modern girls are really comfortable giving casual head, and modern guys are more than eager to take part. Here is a link to a recent Metro article does a pretty good job talking about this cultural shift.

[Editors note: Doing any research on the internet for sex-related topics is super difficult due to all the porn sights..]

This phenomenon isn't entirely new, and appears to go in waves. There is a wealth of pottery from ancient Roman times with paintings around the edges depicting all sorts of oral sex (hetro, homo, whatever). And don't get me started on the renaissance period, or the hippies!

But these attitudes put girls like Pavla at a disadvantage. If her peers will meet a random guy at a party, have a fun time hanging out, and suck his cock before the night is over -- how is a girl like Pavla to compete on the dating scene if she would rather abstain from sucking cock in such casual ways?

I personally will contend that this isn't a huge disadvantage, but that really depends on the gentleman she is trying to impress. I've been with more girls who haven't given head than girls who have, and a blowjob has never played into my decision process about if I thought I should be with a girl or not. But I'd feel a lot more guilty about not wanting to be with someone who had swallowed my cum than someone who haden't.

Which brings up another point,

You Don't Have To Swallow

Really girls, and I may get shit from other dudes for saying this, but when giving blowjobs you shouldn't feel remotely obligated to let a dude cream in your mouth. A thoughtful male will let you know that he is about to cream so you can decide for yourself if you wish to finish him off by hand or mouth or whatever. Just please don't leave him hanging or he is liable to die of blue-balls, which is THE WORST!

I should note that some girls appear to genuinely not mind swallowing, and see it as a practical alternative to having something to clean up after. I suppose this makes sense, but as a dude I feel kind of gross kissing a girl even ten minutes after I cream in her mouth. It would be the biggest jerk move to not kiss a girl after getting that kind of servicing, but I'd rather not have that on my mind and just dirty up my shirt or sheets instead!

I guess the point is, there isn't some graph connecting his pleasure to how much you let a dude get away with. People are different and you should communicate to find out what you will each get the most out of.

You can give a gentleman a perfectly amazing sexual experience with a combination of mouth and hands, and he shouldn't think any less of you (if he thinks any less of you for anything at all relating to a hand job or blowjob he is just a jerk anyway). Blowjobs rock because they feel really good. They do a great job stimulating more areas of the penis, in a sensual lubricated sort of way. The best blowjobs I've ever gotten have involved a combination of lip and tongue stimulation along with well-placed hand-work focused on the most sensitive areas (in my case, around the tip). Some guys love having their balls played with, I really don't, so you should find out what he's into by observing his responses to different stimulation or just straight up asking. Because seriously, if you're going to go through the trouble and icky-ness of putting his wiener in your mouth, you might as well make sure he is enjoying it!

Etiquette for Men

Just as there are rules for the person giving the blowjob, there are rules for the recipient as well.

First and foremost, do not grab hold of a girls head or body or anything to move her around on your junk. This is a real live girl going down on you, with feelings and the need to keep breathing. If you wanted to have that much control, you should just fill a sock with Vaseline and stick it in the microwave for a minute and use that, because grabbing a girls head is really just turning her into your puppet. It works in porno movies but not real life. Its rude, uncomfortable, kind of gross, and just plain lame. Don't do it.

And be sure to let a girl know when you are getting ready to cream so she can decide if she wants it in her mouth or somewhere else. Don't be upset about her not wanting to swallow your cum -- she is being nice enough to suck your dick in the first place, this is the least you can do. And most girls will do something special for you when they know you are about to blow, making it even better for you.

This is all well and good, but how about the unexpected situations?

What If She Sucks At Sucking?

Not that it's a problem, there are girls I've loved to death and been completely ecstatic about just cuddling and making out with, but trouble arises when they insist on going down on me despite their lack of skill.

This is a ~~sticky~~ tricky situation. If a girl is going down on you, it's your responsibility to be thankful and compliment her work, but what if she's just horrible at it but insists on trying anyway? And you give her tips and help her out, but its no good, and you don't lose your boner but don't blow a load either? I've had to mentally will myself to cream just to avoid feeling like a dick (no pun intended) to keep a girl from feeling bad or trying forever, but that doesn't strike me as a good position for either of us to be in. And they get so suspicions when you say something like "no, its alright honey, lets just cuddle", assuming you have cock-warts or STDs or something, when really you just want to be nice and save them the trouble!

Part of the problem is girls just needing to be better educated on how to give good head, but when that fails, with a generously pushy girl, what is a guy to do? Any advice on the subject will be greatly appreciated and disseminated on this blog, please comment below.

Eason Jordan Said The Right Thing

2005-02-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

Glenn Reynolds seems to have diarrhea of the mouth with this whole Eason Jordan-gate thing.

But if Reynolds's accusations are correct, it might mean that Jordan was being a responsible journalist

First, I don't think this really is a story.

It might be a story if Jordan's words had been stated publicly or on TV or in an interview or *somewhere*, but since his alleged statements were made at a private panel and explicitly off the record, it looks like Glenn is really digging here to make it a scandal.

A lot of journalists HAVE been killed by USA troops (I assume unintentionally, covering a war is dangerous), but when the military investigates these occurrences, they refuses to release their findings. Why?

What if twelve journalists really were deliberately killed by the military? What sources could their accusers use to back their claims if the most useful documents are kept secret? Why does the military keep these documents secret? How else could one dig-up information to get at the truth?

If the military is killing journalists, someone of Jordan's caliber can't publicly talk about it, and can only have off-the-record conversations (with friends, fellow journalists, or whatever) until he has access to the first-hand sources to back his point.

Since Jordan was off the record, he wasn’t reporting on murders committed by USA troops, but privately engaging in a dialog on the subject, and referencing whatever rumors or off-the-record statements he had heard.

But his comments were still made in private and off the record, I see nothing for Reynolds to be up in arms about.

If this really is a story, I find it hard to believe that CNN doesn't have people on the inside who would help them out here in getting leaked copies of such reports (assuming his words aren't being taken out of context).

Someone really should file a Freedom Of Information Act request for copies of the militaries investigations into Journalists' deaths in Iraq. These documents can’t possible be kept secret for reasons of national security.

Reaching Republicans - an update

2005-02-11T14:59:00.000-08:00

Regarding the ideas on abortion and birth control from my last post, it looks like NARL today is backing me up on this one. [hat tip to Drum]

Also about my last post, I've changed my mind on one thing:
After some discussion on Kos, I'll back the ACLU on fighting the term "under god"'s being in the pledge of allegiance. As an atheist I don't worry to much about such symbols, but my integrity is the most important thing I have and if I'm making a pledge to something, it better be the truth. In making a pledge "under god" I would be a liar.
Plus, the words "Under God" weren't even part of the pledge until the 50's when they were inserted to distinguish us from the evil god-less communists during the cold-war, a cause that has passed.

But I still think we can win support for the ACLU from conservatives based on cases where The ACLU fights for all peoples rights, and not just those of liberals.

Some examples from Kos (sorry I don't have links to primary sources, but nobody reads this blog anyway so who cares):

It was the ACLU that defended the right of young girls to distribute candy canes with Bible verses attached at Christmastime before school, when the school tried to stop them.

...the ACLU defended a teen's right to have her have the entry of a bible passage in the school yearbook.

Some might still denounce the ACLU specifically for the "Under God" thing the same way some people cast their vote in the presidential vote specifically on the abortion issue, but I think we can win some of the more rational thinkers here.

Wolfy

2005-02-11T14:33:00.000-08:00

I just caught Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz on C-Span giving a token speech about Foriegn Policy.

Whenever I see his esteemed boss Donald Rumsfeld talk I roll my eyes and think of what a complete and utter moron he is.

Wolfowitz seems to be the Cheney to Rumsfeld's Bush. He speaks better, is quicker on his feet (forgetting that deplorable episode where he didn't even know how many US soliders had died in a war that he was the principle architect of), and seems vastly more intelligent than Donald. I wonder if the Force Rumsfeld To Resign Petitions that are floating around in left of center inboxes should be required to add to the list Paul Wolfowitz. In my mind he is far more dangerous.

I'm still not quite sure how neo-conservatism is supposed to be an evolution of Trotskyism (permanent revolution by invading countries?), but I am sure that after Bush finishes out his second term Republicans won't be able to dump the neo-con (neo-cons hate it when you call them neo-cons!) bunch fast enough. But that's in four years.

I can't even fathom what harm can be done.

But as far as good news goes in the world, FINALLY, something that is worth celebrating over.

Howard Dean will be (barring anything crazy) elected Chairman of the DNC tomorrow. This my friends is a good start.

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Yet.

Turning Republicans Rational

2005-02-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

This weekend I had an in depth conversation with an intelligent and coherent Bush supporter.

I picked up some new insight and understandings, along with ideas on how to better convince these people to adopt my views, and how to inform them about where they are being mislead by the Republicans in areas that we already agree though it isn’t as obvious as it should be.

I’m not sure how easy it would be to sell these ideas to the masses since the masses don’t really pay much attention to politics, but trickle-down thinking might work out on the subjects of Abortion, Civil Rights, Religion, Gay Marriage, and Social Security.

Let me break it down:

Abortion

You shouldn’t try convincing someone that abortion isn’t murder, this is a very emotional issue that most people just won’t budge on. People who feel strongly about abortion one way or another will vote for whichever politician backs their view, regardless of how great or horrible the politician’s qualities are in other areas.

But I think Democrats can make some headway even with Pro-Life’ers, it just will take a little educating and maybe some minor policy tweaks in areas that I’m sure we can all agree on:

Countless studies have shown that realistic sex-education about condom use increases condom use without increasing sexual activity, and that "abstinence only" programs don’t work. Republicans will say that this simply doesn’t make sense, because thinking about it logically, it really doesn’t. We have to show them why it is true, and find a way to frame the issue so that the overall Democrat position would actually lead to a net reduction in abortions without actually making them illegal or difficult to obtain.

An outright legal ban on all abortions would cut back on the amount of abortions, but seriously, Bush has had four years to do it and the political climate didn’t let it happen. This is largely due to the fight we’ve been putting up, which we must not cower from, but if we can convince Pro-Lifers that making it illegal wont work and that they should try something new, we will come out with a pretty good compromise.

Here are some statistics to back this up:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/12/6/145758/107

A few abortion foe’s told me about how there are a lot of teens especially in urban black communities who don’t use any sort of birth control and have had five or six abortions without thinking anything of it. This strikes me as sort of gross, I can’t imagine birth control (by way of condoms or at least the pill or an implant) being less comfortable than an abortion. If this is a myth it needs to be widely debunked. If it is true, we really need to do something about it (making birth control options more easily available, education, whatever) – most of these urban areas are largely democratic where we already have the power to implement such programs.

Let me clarify that I don’t think we should cave one inch on abortion. They should be easy to get, and treated as a regular medical procedure that a woman has no reason to be embarrassed about. But we should do more to prevent pregnancies in the first place so that less people need to get abortions, kind of like preventing cancer through sun-block before it has to actually be treated.

While you’re at it, apply these ideas to the morning after pill, and global efforts to fight AIDS (by promoting abstinence only programs instead of condom use in Africa they are directly murdering thousands of people. We need to call them on this.)

Civil Rights and The ACLU

Every republican I spoke with strongly disliked the ACLU, but when I listed off the specific things the ACLU fights for, they were strongly agreed with. They thought the ACLU was ridiculous for mounting legal challenges on the words “Under God” being in the pledge of allegiance and the presidential confirmation.

Is this true? If it is, the ACLU really needs to focus on things that actually matter. If not, we need to debunk this and loud! There is no reason for the ACLU to be a strictly Democrat organization, the things they fight for are things an overwhelming majority of Americans will agree with when properly framed.

The only issues I know for certain that the ACLU strongly supports that a significant chunk of our population does not are gay marriages (which I will get to in a moment), and abortion (which I have just addressed). For the sake of strengthening the ACLU’s arguments all around, I think they should back out of back out of Abortion and leave that fight to organizations like Planned Parenthood. I don’t think we should back off on abortion, but I think the ACLU in specific should, it will be well worth the supporters we will pick up in other areas to better protect our civil liberties all around.

Religion

We are generally branded as a bunch of bitter atheists who are out of touch with God. I’m personally an atheist, but I don’t think religion has to be absent from the Democratic platform, especially when nearly all Democrat social ideas go along with morals preached by every major religion there is (including Christianity). The Republicans have hijacked the word “moral” to mean “anti abortion. anti homosexuality, and anti-profanity” while leaving out a whole slew of moral issues like dealing with poverty, the death penalty, education, and even economical issues and ethics.

We must stand firm by the constitution in not letting the government respect one religion over another, but we should be using the bible to fight for our social programs when our audience is the religious just as we use statistics and science to justify our social programs when our audience is academia.

Kos wrote something really tight about this recently but I can’t find the link, maybe later...

Gay Marriage

I don’t understand why, but there is far greater objection to the word “marriage” than to the granting of legal rights to gay couples. Since the Republicans I spoke with weren’t homophobic, they supported gay rights, just not the word “marriage” which they gave extra “moral weight” to. The compromise that everyone agreed on was for the government to stop using the M word all together and exclusively grant civil unions (regardless of gender), leaving the semantics game up to the church.

This would probably have to be passed on a state by state level, but I think it is well worth it and would do a lot of good.

As for dealing with the homophobic, we should keep trying to reach them, but really will just have to wait for the majority to die off like Racists a few generations back. These are some deep-rooted beliefs comparable to those on abortion that are really hard to change.

Social Security

There isn’t much for me to say that hasn’t been said by Marshal, Drum, Kos, or just about any Democrat blogger out there. It took a lot of explaining, but I was able to convince everyone I spoke with that there was no crisis and that the presidents plan was a horrible one. We just have to educate the masses in easy to understand terms.

====

Since I usually blog about parties and rock-n-roll this is a pretty long post, so I’ll shut up here.

I really don’t care if the people in power label themselves as “Republicans” or “Democrats” or “libertarians” or whatever, these are all just labels. I do care about what they do with their power, how good their ideas are for America (and the world), and about their leadership qualities. As it stands, Democrats best reflect my views, but I would love for the Republicans or anyone else to embrace a little common sense here.

Good Golly

2005-02-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

The State is Strong.

Just when I thought Republicans couldn't get any cornier than proudly pumping flip flops in the air at the mention of John Kerry, they manage to surprise me with their blue ink stained fingers. Apparently this had something to do with the people voting in Iraq, something none of them actually did anything for besides voting for a war because the President of their Party told them to.

Where is the REAL Republican party? You know, the one for adults?

A lot of people have commented about the boo's and hissing from the Democrat side of the chamber.

It does strike me as bad form.

But few people deserve it more than George.

Perhaps Republican lawmakers would not boo and hiss at John Kerry had the outcome been a bit different. Perhaps they would have. I don't know, and to be brutally honest, I don't particularly give a flying fuck. I care about that about as much as I care about the Rapture, who I don't care about at all. I do know that for all his pandering and annoying traits like riding motorcycles and not being energetic, John Forbes Kerry deserved better from this country. And I know that he didn't spend the last four years promising to be a uniter, but by being the ultimate divider. I know he didn't piss away a surplus. I know he fought in an unjust war, but didn't start one under pretenses that get flimsier with every passing day. There is a reason why the noble words of the President ring very hollow for the minority party and for about 48% of us who took the time to vote. The President we waited four years to replace is now at the halfway mark, and he has not changed at all. Everything about him is reckless and haphazard, everything but the campagin he ran. That was genius. But on other things he falls short.

The standard raving liberal talking points, health care, education, foriegn policy, the whole litany. To be sure, some people oppose Bush just because he is Bush. That is unfortunate. There are so many valid, rational, real reasons to oppose him. Besides the fact that he lies about just about everything under the sun, even harmless needless lies (remember the second debate and a certain reference to a lumber compnany?), his policies are making YOU and I less safe. I will level with you. I don't know shit about the economy, how it works, why it works, any of that. I have only a vague resistance to the Privatization of Social Security, and that has a lot to do with the fact that I don't trust this Administration to do what is right for Americans. That is not to be mistaken for knee jerk resistance. They have a proven track record. Likewise, health care is not my expertise nor am I particualrly angry about "outsourcing", because god damn it, no job of mine will ever be outsourced. Maybe to robots, in the future, but not to developing nations. The true debacle of the Bush presidency has to do with foriegn policy, which shows his failings as a statesman.

Lofty childlike rhetoric about how everyone wants to be free is not going to cut it. After September 11th there were candlelit vigils in Tehran. Tehran, IRAN. Yasir Arafat gave blood. The French declared, "Today we are all Americans." The world stood with us as it never had before and never would again. It was a moment to dream of, a moment to set the world right, to move forth in a new direction. It was a moment for us to understand why things were the way they had become. Why 19 men would willingly crash jets into buildings. Instead we lashed out. But we didn't even lash out PROPERLY. The invasion of Afghanistan was something I had wanted ever since I heard about the Taliban. I hate to admit my hawkish tendencies, but I like the visercal thrill of smiting evil. I like the feeling of justice being done. Everyone does, I expect. But then we find out that Bush didn't even want to go into Afghanistan? He wanted to head straight for Iraq. It was only Colin Powell (now dead in the water) and Tony Blair who convinced Bush that it would be tantamount to disaster to go into Iraq without first at least making an effort to neautralize Osama Bin Laden (a name we haven't been hearing much). Now what are the results of Bush's daring Middle East (faith based) initiatives?

Basically, everyone there hates us. More than they already did, if that is possible. In Iraq a bunch of people voted for near anonymous candidates. In Pakistan our ally Perverz Musharraf still wears his uniform, a proud reminder of the military takeover we've overlooked in the name of Democracy. In Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai is one bullet away from being a swell memory, and near as I can tell, is pretty much the Mayor of Kabul, as warlords (both pro and anti Taliban) control most of the provinces. Syria and Iran are now antsy to figure out with of them the US will invade next. Turkey is eyeing the Kurds. The intifada in Israel is still very much a reality. Saudi Arabia remain our best buds, my favorite ally that doesn't allow women to drive cars.

Basically, everything is nearly exactly the same. The faces may have changed in some cases, but not the tyranny.

Bush supporters will say that this is just a first step. That history will vindicate his vision. That peace is on the way. I doubt it. But to be chillingly honest, I hope I'm dreadfully dreadfully wrong about this whole thing. I hope I'm just falling prey to my latent "hatred of America" gene. If the Middle East really does change for the better, in a real substantial way, and it'll take more than a few elections to convince me, then I will not be partisan in my joy.

This is one of those things where I say, please, let me be wrong.

But I don't think I am. Maybe my details are sketchy and my analysis amateur, maybe there is more depth to the situations that I ignored or that I am simply not aware of.

Or maybe I know for a fact Republicans would not support this war if it was started under a Democratic Administration. Maybe that is what sickens me.

Democrats, Republicans, Independents...We have more work to do.

My Favorite Thing Ever. . .

2005-02-01T16:53:00.000-08:00

...is when I hear Republican Congressman talk about the smashing success of the Iraqi elections! And when they say "Shiite", "Sunni", and "Kurd" and you can see the internal struggle to remember which group believes what and which group lives where in the country (and then their subsequent refusal to admit they are intermingled at all!), and even how those terms can be called misnomers, as the vast majority of Kurds are "Sunni" themselves.

Where were these Congressmen and pundits and radio blowhards during the long hot 90's? I don't remember any of them wailing about the injsutices being done to the Iraqi people.

I'm not trying to villify Republicans and leave Democrats alone.

Democrats obviously didn't need to loudly complain about Iraq during the 90's. They had 8 years of relative easygoing, with the exception of you know, murder conspiracies, NAFTA, the Contract with America, Whitewater, Waco, and this thing I keep hearing about, interns and cum stained dresses along with witch hunts that would make the people of Salem blush.

So, really, very few people gave a fuck for a long time, and suddenly everyone cares.

How phony is that? It is phony like the numerous ignored murders that aren't enough to captivate us like Laci and Scott did. It is phony like Rush Limbaugh and his vitriolic drug abuse comments coming back to haunt him. It is phony like my Irish accent, phony like people who switch from Puddle Of Mudd to Xiu Xiu at the approrpriate date, and phony like Sean Hannity existing.

Just remember. These are people in Iraq, real living breathing people. Don't pretend they are your best fucking friends because it is for some reason written onto the party platform.

This election is a step in the right direction. But save the wild applause.

Fucking bitches, I swear.

Elections In Iraq

2005-01-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

So I guess the Iraqi elections were a rousing success because only like 30 people were blown up. That's cool. Good luck with that.

No On Brother Al

2005-01-25T15:05:00.000-08:00

Not that it matters what I say, but I heartily endorse The "No On Gonzales" Petition that is floating about on Daily Kos.

It would be criminal to allow this to go through without a fight. Democrats must fight this now. Not when it blows up in our faces. Not six months before the midterm elections. Now. Now. Now.

And now an appalling lack of laziness and my unwillingness to use html!

http://dailykos.com/story/2005/1/25/15437/3930

Why

2005-01-18T01:04:00.000-08:00

Why does everyone miss the point?

Silence

2005-01-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

We apologize for the silence you have been presently finding here at 3P. There are numerous factors but mostly we are depressed. Politics and life have become to soul crushing to even read about lately, much less add our own commentary to it.

The way things are done is creating a maelstrom of our collective hearts, an agonizing feeling of uselessness, and definite bouts of intensely powerful apathy.

Things that have been pissing me off lately include but are not limited to-

-Armstrong Williams becoming a public schill for the administration and No Child Left Behind

-This fake ass witchhunt non story about Markos Zuniga of Daily Kos and Jerome Armstrong working for Howard Dean (even though WE ALREADY KNEW THEY WERE YOU DUMB LIBERAL MEDIA!)

-Iyad Allawi's declaration that "pockets" of Iraqis won't be able to vote in the upcoming elections, when "pockets" of course refers to millions of people

-Democrats in the "Fainthearted Faction" regarding Social Security (you can thank Josh Marshall for that brilliant alliteration). Two words apply. FUCKING. PUSSIES.

-Tom Ridge, Mr. I'm About To Not Be The Fake Ass Homeland Security Director saying the US should not rule out torture. I'm not a policy expert by any stretch, but let me give you some free advice. Honestly, US government, I won't even charge you for this nugget. DON'T TORTURE ANYONE. There. You heard it here first.

-Alberto Gonzales inevitably at Justice, surely he won't decloak that statue of that blind justice bitch either

-Tucker Carlson being ousted from CNN doesn't bother me, but Robert Novak still being allowed to call himself a journalist is just about the most ridiculous thing I can think of. Come to think of it, that would be true if this wasn't the same world where G. Gordon Liddy, former BURGULAR wasn't a respected pundit of some kind and Oliver North, former war criminal, didn't have his own show on Fox Fucking News.

-God, see this is only off the top of my head. There are so many things. On top of that I've been in a dangerously pensive mood lately.

The point is, the state of the world right now is not inspiring me to be happy about practically ANYTHING.

And I've not yet seen evidence that these Democrats in this Congress will be anything different than Tom Daschle and Dick Gephardt's Democrats in the aftermath of 9/11 and beyond.

Here's hoping Nancy Pelosi, and more importantly Harry Reid are made of sterner stuff.

I miss Harry Truman and Bobby Kennedy, I miss William the Marshal, I miss the guy who stood in front of the tanks at Tiananmen Square, I miss Optimus Prime, I miss everyone who had the guts to say what need to be said and could follow through with the deeds that had to be done. I miss heroes. Where have they all gone.

Probably the same place the cowboys have gone.

The Left Is To Blame For Everything

2005-01-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the new Congress met and generally there was happiness and good feelings.

But then today happened!

I'm glad to see that partisan bickering is set to resume and that for four more years we will be privy to ridiculous arguments that fillibuster progress time and time again. The glacial pace of the Senate and House will be a fun change up from that exciting Presidential race between the smirking idiot and the grinning boring guy!

Today Democrats, notably those elite North Easterners Joe Biden, Teddy Kennedy, and Patrick Leahy all grilled Alberto Gonzales at his confirmation hearing for Attorney General. Patrick Leahy, who is infamous for being sworn at by Dick Cheney and coming from the same state as Howard Dean, was generally the most cogent and sense making of the three. He seems like a sweet articulate old man. And you know my love for sweet old men.

The children of Alberto Gonzales, who were at the confirmation hearing, must have left thinking their father was the number one fan or torture in the world, which is ludicrous, no one has suggested that. Honestly! We are just suggesting he thinks the President has the power to dispense whatever laws he wants due soley to the fact that he is the President, torture laws and all!

Teddy Kennedy sure is one cantakerous fuck! His jowls are amazing. He spoke with some heat about the nominee's lack of speaking up and speaking out about certain inhumane practices. I could see Alberto Gonzales clam up and want to shout back, "Aren't you the guy who tried to cover up manslaughter for ten hours and shift the blame to a Kennedy crony?" I think anyone who is ever on the receiving end of any of Teddy's tirades feels the urge.

And Joe Biden! The guy who wanted to strangle John Aschcroft for all the world to see, somehow has developed a severe man-crush on Alberto Gonzales. I'm not sure how this has happened. But it's weirding me out. Maybe we are making too much of a fuss out of this guy. Maybe he really is legit. Maybe torture is the new thing, like Pogs, or Magic the Gathering. I wouldn't bet on it, but I didn't bet on anyone outside the garage rockers of Sweden ever liking the Hives.

Stranger things have and will continue to happen.

Stupid "quaint" Geneva Convention.

An open Letter To The ACLU

2005-01-06T15:28:00.000-08:00

**this was originally posted on livejournal/astrotrain, but was recently censored by the astrotrain editorial board. this is probably more appropriate here, as it relates to at least two of the four p's**

Dear American Civil Liberties Union,

I'm starting to regret having joined your organization.

Don't get me wrong, I really love the work that the ACLU does.

Let me explain:

I joined the ACLU because I really wanted to support your organization, and I thought that having a membership card in my wallet would be pretty snazzy.

My first disappointment came when I finally got my membership card about three months after handing over my twenty bucks. Not only was it printed on regular flimsy paper-stock, but it was much larger than the standard card size, meaning I couldn't even keep it in my wallet! What the fuck is this, a miniature membership certificate?? When hot sluts look through the cards in my wallet I want them to be impressed by my being an ACLU member, tempting them to give me oral sex. How the fuck is an ACLU membership card going to help me get oral sex if there isn't a convenient way for me to carry it around?

The next disappointment came in on a steady daily basis. I appear to now be on a charity "sucker list" as someone who financially supports social causes. Of course I would love to donate money to Planned Parenthood and Doctors Without Borders -- these are really great organizations that do great things, but I'm fucking poor and can't afford to support them right now.

This is not only obnoxious but also counter productive.

Even though these solicitations are being sent out by "bulk mail", the charity collecting community has spent far more money trying to get donations out of me than what I have actually donated, meaning that by giving the ACLU $20 I am actually taking away from the pool of organizations I would like to be supporting! I mean, shit guys, I have a fucking internet connection and know that these organizations have websites. I promise to support them once I can, but right now it just isn't going to happen! Its been months, your computers should have realized that I wasn't giving me any more money and cut me off the mailing lists by now.

I still really appreciate your looking after the first amendment and putting up a fight when people want to take our freedoms away. Your hearts are in the right place, but you're just fucking morons. I hope you find ways to quit being so stupid.

I have a few ideas to help you collect money in non-bonehead ways. Here's one: You know how a lot of credit card companies have "cash back" incentives returning 1% or so of a card-holders purchases? What if you made an ACLU branded credit card that had a cash-back feature, but donated the cash-back to your organization instead of the card-holder? This would let your supporters donate money to your organization without having to adjust their shopping habits, and it would act as a status symbol allowing your supporters to carry one less card to carry in their wallets, making it far easier to impress slutty bitches and get blowjobs. There is a really hot slut working at whole foods, with an ACLU credit-card I could totally stuff that bitch!

There are plenty of other great ideas where that came from incase you want to offer me a job.

But don't feel too bad about yourselves. On the bright side, you aren't nearly as obnoxious or retarded as PETA.

Sincerely,
UltraCore

New Years

2005-01-04T23:33:00.000-08:00

I went to a strange New Years party a few days ago. Not strange in the Doctor Strange sense, or in the, "I really don't like all these strange Persians" sense, though there were many Persians in attendence, and I would frankly be surprised if at least a few of them weren't strange. I brought Joey and his girlfriend, who argued a lot, which was unpleasant and awkward. The older Persian folks laughed and danced and were Persian. The second group consisted of multi-ethnic teens and twentysomethings, many of whom had never met one another, at least face to face (MySpace you'll be the death of my entire generation). Finally there was quite a large contingent of little children running around, they were always underfoot.

High lights include weird cameos by Jeff Martin, David Davis, Jeremy Ventuso, Mike Yakel, and David Leventhal. The plethora of food should also be mentioned, and Shereen's amazing tap dancing skills. Watching a clash of cultures in progress is infinitely easier with tapping involved. Which is why they should keep a tap dancer on the West Bank at all times, assuming people still think that is a culture clash worthy of tapping (I don't, really).

The countdown was abrupt and none of the kids got trashed. I was tired as hell and only half enjoying myself. My suiteheart was the hostess and didn't have much time for me. On the other hand, she is pretty. So it is all gravy, as they say.

The party culminated with me giving her mom the gangsta handshake, the apex of which being the "pounding of the rock". It certainly showed me how cool she was, though apparently to her I am "shy" and "insecure" and she fears for me, fears that her daughter will end up playing with my emotions and ultimately breaking my heart. That is funny on more levels than I'd like to get into on Three P.

By the way, during the countdown someone started chanting "Four more years! Four more years!" and I was like, "Yeah, four more years of Bush and Iran will be in real good shape you crazy cocksucker!"

Actually, I only said that in my mind.

Where I say a lot of things.

At the strike of midnight I called a lot of people to wish them a glorious 2005. I called in no particular order Bob, Avi, David, Daniela, Natalie, Veronica, Michelle, Jake, Max, Clare, Richard, Andrea, pretty much anybody who is anybody in my life. With the exception of Mike, cause I hate him now. I hate him like Hutus hate Tutsis. I hate him like the Replacements hate Public Image Ltd.

The other P's

2005-01-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

We have been talking about politics a lot lately, but for a blog called "3P" (that really should be called 4P" but isn’t just because "3P" sounds a lot cooler), there hasn't been much talk of punk rock, parties, or pussy.

While these are subjects that my cohort and I are both top experts in, the punk/pussy/party scene doesn’t have much in the way of "current events" that are well suited for blog posting.

To rectify this problem, I've decided to open this up to you, the reader, as a public service in the form of a re-occurring advice column.

Post any questions you have on any of these neglected P's as comments on this blog entry, and we will provide well thought out solutions to your queries.

Rupert Murder

2005-01-04T03:50:00.000-08:00

P.S. My friend Mike came up with the Rupert Murder name, and I didn't ask him for permission to use it because I'm a jackass! Good thing nobody reads this...

Lifetime Detentions for Terror Suspects - WITHOUT TRIAL

2005-01-04T03:36:00.000-08:00

Administration officials are preparing long-range plans for indefinitely imprisoning suspected terrorists whom they do not want to set free or turn...

I found this article on Reuters a few days back (which references this Washington Post article that is subscribers only), and figured it would be ~~front-page news~~ (sorry I forgot how Bush-whipped our journalists are for a minute there) a major story on political blogs all over the net. To my surprise it wasn't touched by Kos or Marshal or even Drum, so I'll grope the fuck out of that shit right now.

The article basically says that about 500 suspected terrorists are being held at Guantanamo Bay, and though there isn't enough evidence of their guilt for any sort of trial or military tribunal, our fearless leaders want to hold them prisoner forever.

No due process. No evidence. No trial. They are just in jail for life.

You would think that all the torture filled interrogation sessions endured by these prisoners would have given our solders something to charge them with, just a shred of evidence to suggest they were involved with terror related activities (which I'm sure happened with some of the prisoners not on this "list of 500" that aren't being brought to trial).

The really sad thing is that if these men weren’t into terrorism going in, I can't imagine them thinking twice about it now that they have very personal and real reasons for hating Americans, and no reason to trust us at all in any way.

I wish I knew more about the Japanese interment camps of World War Two so I could compare and contrast, but I'm sadly ignorant (so please leave some comments on the subject if you know anything).

Dang

2005-01-02T23:38:00.000-08:00

Bad day for members of the House of Representatives past and present.

Bob Matsui and Shirley Chisolm both passed on from this existence and are now wherever we go when our bodies stop being alive, which I suspect is the same place caribous and spiders go after they die.

Bob Matsui endured the wrongful (unless your name is Michelle Malkin) internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, an act which continues to tarnish Franklin Roosevelt to this very day. He rose above all that bullshit to become a member of the House and was apparently ready and willing to fight Bush, Republicans, and the chickenshit Democrats on their brilliant Privatization of Social Security plan. He will be missed.

Chisolm was the first African American woman voted to the House and that was only one of the amazing things she did with her life. The anecdote that chokes me up was during the 1972 Presidential Primaries right after arch-segregationist George Wallace was shot and she visited him in the hospital despite knowing it would create a controversy among her followers, most of whom loathed Wallace. She told him quite simply that she didn't care what people said, that she didn't want what happened to him to happen to anybody. The was the man who once chanted to cheering white constiuents "Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever!" He looked at her, and in her own words, "he cried and cried".

Politics

2004-12-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

I just recently finished reading Politics by Hendrik Hertzberg and now must endorse it so that all my readers (myself, and occasionally Rupert*) have the opportunity to pick that shit up like a bad habit. Most of the book was written over many decades as a reporter covering one of the Three P's (the politics P, obviously, though I wouldn't doubt he was interested in the early Washington DC punk scene either), from the days of Lyndon Johnson to the early years of George W. Bush.

His viewpoint is that of an unrepentant liberal, but he knows his shit, and his prose is witty as well as informative. Throughout this moderately priced handsomely crafted tome are a series of vignettes designed to delight the political geeks, especially those of us who are left of center. His chapter on Ronald Reagan in particular, titled "The Child Monarch" might rub some noses the wrong way. I found myself thinking of Reagan less of a jingoistic cowboy (as all the wits have taken to calling him) and more of a tragic (though decidedly less saintly) Henry VI figure, ruled by emotion and not logic, and to take the Henry VI allusion a step further, complete with his own Margaret of Anjou, the ruthless, cunning Nancy Reagan. In all fairness, she's seemed real swell recently, and to be honest, I was too young to have a "primary source" opinion on her. But really, that is neither here nor there.

What is here and also there is that this is a book worth having on your shelf, it is kind of heavy and is called POLITICS, girls will be either impressed or at least nonplussed, both of which are better than the average response I get from women, which is some strange mix of being repulsed and more repulsed. Even when I show them my complete collection of out of print SST 7 inches (Black Flag, Minutemen, Descendents, Dinosaur Jr, the whole nine yards) they still manage to be at least somewhat reserved, and I have to pull out the big guns. The big guns are of course my shotguns, which I affectionately call Jerry Falwell and Jesse Helms. They both can't shoot for shit, by the by.

Hertzberg's memoir-article-retrospective is full of compulsively quotable anecdotes. There are chapters devoted to curious things that apparently seemed possible at the time. Like Dan Quayle one day becoming President. Good God, somebody dropped the ball on that one. There are thick sections devoted to election cycles, some of the more memorable being the Republican and Democrat primaries of 1988 that eventually became the battle between George H.W. Bush and Michael Dukakis in a pitched struggle eerily similar to a certain recent election. It has become clear to me that in battles between Texas politicians and Massachusetts politicians I would always bet on the Lone Star contenders. And according to White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan's daddy, the aptly named Barr, Lyndon Johnson (Texas) was actually behind the murder of John F. Kennedy (Taxachussets), so hey, that fits the whole pattern of Texas fucking Massachusetts in the ass. Then again, I've made it a personal rule never to read books by people named Barr, for obvious, personal, and religious reasons.

There is a nice little section about the second debate between Michael Dukakis and George Bush that I'll type out with these swollen yet still remarkably beautiful and dainty fingers.

When Bush attacked Dukakis for being "a liberal" who takes positions that are "very liberal," Dukakis shot back. "If it's liberal to feed the hungry and house the homeless George, you can call me a liberal. If it's liberal to make sure a young mother can see a doctor when her baby's sick, call me a liberal"-that whole litany. And when asked to name some heroes of today he hesitated briefly but then warming to the subject, came up with a surprisingly interesting list: Henry Steel Commager, Leach Walsea, Andrei Sakharov, Robert Coles, Marian Wright Edelman, Evert Coop, Oscar Arias, Leonard Bernstein, Cory Aquino, "and two young men named for a county in Ireland, who fought valiantly in Vietnam who today fight for peace and justice at home-John Kerry, who was my lieutenant governor in Massachusetts and who now serves our State in the United States Senate and former Governor Bob Kerrey of Nebraska, who will be joining John in the Senate next year."

Name dropping John Kerry like that, what a starfucker Dukakis is! It's amusing that Kerry would one day be slimed just like his buddy and would also make the same mistakes, proving once again, NO ONE EVER LEARNS ANYTHING. Lee Atwater, who led the slime machine against Dukakis apologized on his deathbed, I somehow doubt Karl Rove will ever find the urge to say sorry for poor John Kerry, who, last I heard, was trying to destroy America and still knows how to speak French.

And then there is the chapter devoted entirely to Bob Dole's wicked sense of humor, a much more serious and compelling study than one would imagine, though he is well renowned for his glibness. Similar character studies on such diverse fellows as Pat Robertson, Bill Clinton, and Bobby Kennedy are all fascinating, but perhaps, and this really was a shock, the most powerful was the chapter tucked away in the middle of the book, "A Moral Ideologue" about former President Jimmy Carter, for whom Hertzberg was the chief speech writer.

Well there goes objectivity. Nay, not so. Hertzberg clearly admires Jimmy Carter, but it is not blind hero worship, he examines his faults, the wrinkles in his record, some of the more embarrassing episodes of his presidency. He also freely admits that he can see why a lot of people despise Jimmy Carter. But he stands by his assessment of Carter as a good and decent man, and more importantly than that, a brave man who knew the difference between right and wrong. The most chilling passage describes Carter's acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention in 1976.

On the stage, Carter and his running mate, Senator Walter Mondale, stood arm in arm and side by side with an extraordinary array of friends and former adversaries: Coretta King, the widow of Martin Luther King, Jr., and King's civil rights comrades Ralph W. Abernathy, Jesse Jackson, and Andrew Young; the wheelchair-ridden George Wallace, the one-time racist firebrand; Mayor Richard Daley with former Senator Eugene McCarthy, whose youthful followers had been clubbed by Daley's police in the streets eight years before; Senators Hubert Humphrey, George McGovern, and Henry M. Jackson, who had struggled with each other over policy and power for over a decade; and many more. It was a political peaceable kingdom. The anthem of the evening was 'We Shall Overcome.' I had not yet joined the Carter team; I was there as a reporter. But I wept. Everyone in the room wept. Everyone-even the press section-linked arms and swayed and sang. The moment carried tremendous emotional power. It was as if the agonies of slavery and war and racial hatred and the fratricidal bitterness of Vietnam and the lies of Watergate-it was as if all this were being washed away, washed in the blood of the lamb; and at the center of it was this small, slight, soft spoken man from a tiny hamlet in the depths of the Deep South.

I wish I had been in the room. I need some inspiration. But I know it'll come. One day we really shall overcome. Probably not for a long while and even then not forever. But it'll happen. Howard Dean promised me we would be taking this country back back during the primaries. He better not have been lying.

Fuck that shit.

We SHALL overcome.

We Need One Of These

2004-12-27T03:01:00.000-08:00

It looks like a whole new election has paid off in the Ukraine.

I hope Putin isn't cross with Bush over this!

Wait, I do!

Earthquakes

2004-12-26T18:44:00.001-08:00

The headlines are obviously dominated by the massive disaster to strike Southeast Asia. On Christmas of all days. The last death toll I saw estimated about 67,000 (and climbing) people lost their lives, numbers smashing those of 9/11. That is not to say I am saying this disaster was worse than 9/11, or vice versa, depending on where you are standing plausible cases for both could be made. But why would you want to make plausible cases for which tragedy was more tragic?

This isn't about comparing cocks, this is about people being alive and people being dead. It's about homes standing and homes obliterated. It's about families being together one night and suddenly every thing is shattered, forever, because of God's whimsies. Or whatever new fangled science-y term the "evolutionists" are calling it these days.

Frankly I'm sorry I even mentioned 9/11, as it had nothing to do at all with all that massive ground shaking. But it is inevitable that people (at least Americans) will from now on compare every massive death list to 9/11. I hear it in the way people now describe Pearl Harbor. "Oh it was bad. But did you know on September 11th, about a thousand more people died?" Good God man, who cares? What was it Stalin told Churchill? "One death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic?" Well, Joe Stalin sure was glib when it came to glossing over murder, but people these days are no less willing to blind themselves to what goes on all around the world, every day.

I am not saying massive terrorist attacks on the scale of 9/11.

I am not saying huge earthquake/tsunami/tidal wave monstrosities that destroy sleepy Indian villages and Southeast Asian huts and leave thousands of orphans.

I am talking about the smaller tragedies that pile up and accumulate and become things like the Rwandan Genocide because people who know better do nothing. Or the massive incarceration of petty drug offenders in jail today because we can only talk about being tough on crime for so long before resorting to meaningless arrests. Corporate criminals are given carte blanche nine times out of ten, except in those rare cases were the fiends are so drastically sloppy and inept that the media has no choice to but go for the gullet. But then again, we work for the state right? It doesn't work for us. As much as we want it to.

Politicians, the "grown ups who should know better", are in some way I can't understand, either unwilling or unable to do anything about these fundamental things. And if is the former then they are cowards and if it is the latter they are just not up to the task. I hate to say this in such blanket terms, and so vaguely to boot, but listen.

There is a reason that so many people were in tears the day after the election.

It is because this isn't a FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME.

And I feel like it is. I feel like if George Bush ran the country as well as his reelection campaign was run we would be living in an idyllic lollipop land and I would have eight wives and a moderate to large selection of cattle. But unfortunately the Bush administration (though I'd like to point out they are not the only source of my concern, there is plenty of outrage to be spread around, trust me) has continually proved me wrong regarding how far they could bend the rules without the whole system spiraling out of control.

Alberto Gonzales at the Justice Department? Do a quick google search to see what Alberto has said about torture and see if you can still defend his pudgy ass. But then again, he is Hispanic!

People are quick to point out that a lot of this is needless naysaying, partisan hackery, doomsday-esque ideas, lacking in substance and style. That's fine. They are allowed to doubt every word. It doesn't matter to me. I doubt as well. I doubt almost everything. But the thing that rankles me are these people postulating such inanities as "Oh, it's never happened before, thus it can never happen."

What a wretched line of thinking. That one is right up there with "If astrology is fake how come so many people believe in it?" Whoa whoa Professor, you got me! If a lot of people believe it, it must certainly be true.

What in essence I am saying, is that we, as a people, are beholden, to give a fuck about things. We don't have to all give a fuck to the extent of writing bullshit blogs, or donating money to the ACLU or whatever it is all the politically motivated people do. Give a shit about this world. This is the only one we have. The only one we are ever going to have. And people in Utah and North Dakota should care as much as people in Massachusetts and California. Because Red State or Blue State this is THE ONLY GODDAMN WORLD AVAILABLE until Bush's plan to terra farm Mars comes to fruition. Since I'm not placing bets on how long that will take to even be mentioned again publicly, let alone funded, I will just continue to plead with the world, one person at a time.

Politics is dumb. Maybe it always will be. I don't know, I'm not a prophet.

So this rambling mess really had two points.

The first is to say that death on a large scale (any scale really) is a terribly sad thing, whether instigated by nature (earthquakes) or nurture (terrorism). I hope people recognize this at some point in their short, fleeting lives.

The second is that we need to force the politicians to grow testicles or we need to get rid of them. What is their use if they won't stand up for us? Why aren't there a hundred thousand people in every country around the world trying to figure out how to fix this world? And I don't mean activists, I mean the people in charge, the people who can actually make a goddamn difference. People in ties with big salaries.

And if there are people who's primary duties are to fix shit, who the fuck is cockblocking them? These are the things I want to know. These are the things we must know, so we can ameliorate this problem. Cause the status quo reigns supreme and I haven't liked the status quo of the last 4 years at all. I really haven't ever liked it, but it is becoming intolerable now. In the words of Sage Francis, the most punk rock rapper ever (or perhaps he is more "rapmo" though I hesitate to write that horrible amalgam of words) "It isn't a love it or leave it, it's a change it or lose it."

Amen my tubby MC, amen.

A Note On Gay Marriage/Where has all the outrage gone?

2004-12-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

Post Script: I realize the banality and triteness of starting a blog and immediately tackling the gay marriage quandary. I promise to only mention it sparingly from now on, as there is really not a whole lot one can say on either side other than "I like it" or "I don't".

In other news, when are we going to have the Secede From The Union Party?

And what the fuck happened to the outrage after November 2nd? Not a riot to be had. Now, that, my friends, is PUSSY.

I may be a few months late, but perhaps it is time to invest in a molotov cocktail machine.

Or maybe just a sword-uzi. I don't care, I just want to know where the outrage is!!!

I haven't been so angry since Weezer's long awaited follow up to the epic Pinkerton turned out to be inspid girl bullshit with a green cover.

I can't believe we are the minority in this country. And by we I must mean people with EYES. Now I am aware that isn't good for encouraging public discourse but Jesus Christ! Can I just get this out of my system?

ARE YOU 60 MILLION OR SO PEOPLE FUCKING CRAZY, OR JUST STUPID?

I don't know which is worse.

As For Me

2004-12-26T05:29:00.000-08:00

As Rupert already mentioned, my name is Alex, and he did indeed make out (or something akin to that at least, probably involving meowing and other such animal noises) with my ex-girlfriend last night. This makes him only the second or third of my friends to make out with my former significant others. Thus, I am not very surprised, or hurt, especially since as least he had the decency (much like the esteemable though curiously Conservative leaning Dsquared) to own up to his shenanigans.

We were all at a party once. Rupert gave her a massage. I should have seen it coming, but clearly my mind was on other things. The upcoming election probably. I would have let Avi make out with every girl I had ever so much as laid eyes on if the American public had been good enough to elect John Kerry to become the 44th President of the United States. Unfortunately, they didn't, and gay marriage is still illegal!

Gay marriage, as we all know, is a social inevitability. I'm not claiming I'll be around when it finally becomes legal in all fifty states (only a measly Forty Nine left!), but when it does people are going to be mightily ashamed of their past affiliation. Even the people who tried to foist Civil Unions on us. This includes Democrats and Republicans alike. Civil Unions for gay couples is a sweet idea, and incrimentally better than having no legal recognition of course, but this is a method to achieving a greater goal, not the end in and of itself. I assure you most folks who championed things like "states rights" in the 60's are now scrambling for cover. African Americans now have equal rights under the law (at least nominally), and it is about time for people to heed John F. Kennedy's carefully scripted words and realize that gay marriage is not a legal issue, it is a moral issue.

To put it simply, all men are not created equal. "Seperate but equal" treatment of gays and lesbians is not going to cut it anymore. And the time will come when the majority of the American public will realize this, will realize that Civil Rights should apply to all Americans, regardless of who they like banging behind closed doors.

Come on. This isn't fucking rocket science. This isn't even fucking algebra. This is simple goddamn arithmetic.

I shouldn't be surprised though. This is the country that is constantly sucking the electoral college's dick and extolling the virtues of heartland America as somehow superior to anyone who happens to live by water (excluding of course Virginia, the Carolinas, Georgia, and Florida, and all the rest of those watery "red states" I don't care to type out, they are alright!)

In conclusion, on the day when good finally triumphs over evil (at worst, miseducation at best, brainwashing in the middle), I will smile knowingly, and resume doing whatever it is I am doing, which will probably be doing hella curls at the gym.

This rant was inspired by Rupert, because he is totally a gay-gay.

The P Manifesto

2004-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

God, politics sure is annoying! The pandering, the slime, the rhetoric that ranges from completely empty to mostly empty, the apologists, the hacks, the needless vitriol, the lack of anything resembling actual debate, the sloppy Machiavellian manuvering, the impassioned pleas of men and women (but mostly men, white men, tall white men) desperately lying and half truthing their way into power.

Likewise, parties are annoying as well. I can't tell you how many ways parties can be lame. There is the rowdy party full of homies and the average gang of sluts who don't know shit about anything, those are annoying. But then there are the snobby intelligenisa parties where people start lecturing me on existentialism and I have to interupt and say, "Excuse me, how old are you? I'm happy you enjoyed your Intro to Philosophy class so well, but I'm trying to drink this bitch beer." And there are countless variety of other lame parties. Frat parties. Halloween parties. Toga parties. Birthday parties. XBOX parties. Magic: The Gathering Parties. Green Parties.

As for pussy. Well don't you hate it when it is all dry and shit? God, at least pretend to be pleased I'm in your proverbial house. God damn!

Regardless of the undue hostility towards the three P's, that is what this blog will be about, for the most part. In other news, I am Dangerous. Dangerous like a fox!

Dead fox.

Get inspired!

2004-12-26T05:17:00.000-08:00

This brand new Web-Blog is dedicated to the Three Ps: Politics, Parties, Punk-Rock, and Pussy.

We aim to succeed in all the ways that Washington Monthly, Talking Points Memo, Vice Magazine, Maximum Rock And Roll, and Hustler's "Barely Legal" fail.

If you tell your friends about this blog, they will be impressed, but you won't be able to pass off our ideas as your own. You're probably better off keeping this blog a secret, and impressing your friends on a steady basis by stealing our ideas.

I met Alex a while back, we saw Gorbochov together, and last night I accidentally made out with his ex-girlfriend. I know I may seem really cool, but you really shouldn’t try this or he'll kick your ass. You can make out with my ex girlfriends if you want though as long as you're a nice guy.